Hey guys! Currently I am still spending some time with my family, away from Berlin, more or less on the country side. It is Vday, but I am not with my better half, my hubby, Tim. For those who do not know, we are married since almost three years and we know each other from dance school, where we met more than 13 years ago. So yes, we are an old couple :) But this year, we do spent apart.
Which makes me think and write this blogpost. For my part,
If you know some about us, you know we mostly spend all time together and try to be apart as little as possible. Still, in times like this, we reflect and talk about not being together, about being seperated physically.
And we think it is very important to notice and know, that these are opportunities to remember, that you have to be happy on your own, to be content on your own: You are your own person, you have a life of your own. Even if you feel unseperable at times, maybe even for long periods. You should never be dependent on (the) other person(s) to be the reason for your happiness. Yes, you can miss your significant other, but you should be aware I guess, that the idea of not being able to be apart is a construct of your ego. A very romantic but toxic one. Because you might tend to loose yourself in the idea of not being able to life, maybe even survive on your own.
As Meredith Grey in Grey's Anatomy states in some episode: ..."I can live without you, but I do not want to!" Great, right!? And so on pointe.
Oh, Grey's Anatomy is full of wisdome... :)
But seriously, think about it:
It sounds very romantic and when you are concious about it it might be also fine I guess, but if it is an unaware thought that becomes a feeling of dependence, that makes you feel as if you could not live on your own anymore, then it becomes a toxic one. For yourself and your loved one.
Being convinced that you cannot live alone anymore is a problem. So reflecting on being alone or seperated from a loved one is actually good. To think about what makes life exciting and fun when you are own your own. To connect to your inner self. To just be. To just be and let go of all attachment. Or at least to become more aware of certain or some attachments.
Bottom line: I think it is very important to not be (co-)dependent on your loved one. Love your soulmate, love your friends, anybody and be fine on your own at the same time.
Well, that’s my vday thoughts of 2021. Happy Valentine‘s day everyone!
Share the love, be mindful and kind to one another.